Charitable giving isn't just for the wealthy—it's a meaningful way for anyone to leave a lasting impact while potentially reducing taxes and avoiding family conflicts. From donating that classic car gathering dust in your garage to supporting causes close to your heart, there are more options than you might think. The key is having the conversation with your family before they're surprised by your generosity in your will.

Let's start with some eye-opening facts that might surprise you. Bequest giving accounted for 9% of the $427.1 billion contributed to charity in 2018, and bequest contributions have exceeded $30 billion in the past four years. That's real money making a real difference.

But here's what's even more interesting: The average age at which donors made their first planned gift was 52.8 years old. If you're reading this and you're in your 50s, 60s, or beyond, you're in prime territory for thinking about your charitable legacy.

The motivations? The top three motivations donors cited for making a planned gift were: the importance of the cause; the belief that the nonprofit makes a significant impact; and the donor's ability to make a larger gift through an estate gift than during the donor's lifetime.

Perhaps most importantly, people who make gifts through their will typically increase the amount of their annual support, often by up to 75%. So charitable giving in your estate plan doesn't reduce your current giving—it often enhances it.

Unfortunately, there's a troubling gap in communication. Only 4% of donors report always telling organizations about their planned gifts, while 38.7% sometimes inform the organizations. But even more problematic is what families don't know.

More than 52% of people don't know where mom and dad stored their estate planning documents, and 68% of Americans lack a will. When you combine these statistics with surprise charitable bequests, you have a recipe for family conflict.

Estate planning experts consistently identify a few things that ignite post-death conflict faster than a surprise in the estate plan. Whether it's an unexpected heir, a last-minute amendment, or a sudden charitable bequest, surprises can feel like betrayal to family members.

Sarah thought she was being generous and responsible. At 67, she had spent years volunteering at the local animal shelter and quietly decided to leave them her vintage 1967 convertible in her will. It was worth about $45,000, and she figured it would make a nice donation while also providing her with a tax benefit.

Sarah never mentioned this decision to her three adult children, who had always assumed the car would go to her eldest son, Mike. He'd been helping maintain it for years and had even talked about keeping it in the family for his own teenage son.

When Sarah passed away two years later, the reading of the will was devastating. Mike felt betrayed and confused. "Why didn't she just tell us?" he asked his siblings. "If I'd known she wanted to donate it, I would have offered to buy it from the estate and make the donation myself."

The family ended up in a bitter dispute. Mike contested the will, arguing that his mother's decision was made without understanding the car's sentimental value to the family. The legal fees ate up much of the estate, the animal shelter waited months for their donation, and family relationships were permanently damaged.

The tragedy? A simple conversation could have prevented all of this.

Many people think charitable giving means writing a check, but the reality is far more creative and accessible. Capital assets include most items of property you own and use for personal purposes or investment. Examples of capital assets are stocks, bonds, jewelry, coin or stamp collections, and cars or furniture used for personal purposes.

Vehicles, Boats, and Planes: If you contribute a car, boat, or airplane to a qualified organization, you must determine its FMV. That classic car, the boat you haven't used in years, or even a small airplane, can all become meaningful charitable gifts.

Art and Collectibles: Artwork, whether purchased or inherited, that has been held for more than one year and has appreciated in value qualifies as a "collectible" under the Internal Revenue Code and is considered a capital asset. Your grandmother's paintings, your husband's baseball card collection, or that pottery you've been collecting for decades all have potential.

Real Estate: Got a vacation home that's become more burden than blessing? Land you inherited but never use? These can become powerful charitable gifts while potentially saving your estate significant taxes.

Collections: Similar items of property are items of the same general category or type, such as coin collections, paintings, books, clothing, jewelry, nonpublicly traded stock, land, or buildings. That extensive book collection, jewelry that's been sitting in a safety deposit box, or tools that could benefit a vocational training program—all possibilities.

The key advantage? If, prior to sale, you donate appreciated art to a public charity, including a donor-advised fund, you potentially eliminate the capital gains tax that otherwise would be incurred in a sale. This means more money goes to charity and less to taxes.

Tom and Linda Miller, both 64, had built a comfortable retirement through Tom's small construction business and Linda's teaching career. They weren't wealthy by any means, but they had accumulated some valuable assets over the years, including Tom's collection of vintage woodworking tools and Linda's collection of first-edition children's books.

As they began thinking about their legacy, they realized these collections, while meaningful to them, might just be burdens to their two children—one a software engineer living overseas, the other a busy emergency room doctor.

Instead of making decisions in isolation, Tom and Linda decided to have a family conversation during their annual holiday gathering. They explained their thoughts about potentially donating Tom's tools to the local trade school where he'd often volunteered, and Linda's books to the children's literacy foundation where she'd served on the board.

The response surprised them. Their son immediately said, "Dad, I was actually dreading having to figure out what to do with all those tools. I think it's beautiful that they'd help train the next generation of craftsmen." Their daughter added, "Mom, those books sparked my love of reading. Knowing they'd do the same for other kids feels perfect."

The conversation opened up other discussions. The family decided to create a small charitable fund that the children could contribute to and help direct after their parents' passing. Tom and Linda worked with an attorney to properly document their intentions, and everyone left feeling good about the plan.

Two years later, when Tom had a minor stroke that reminded everyone about mortality, there was no stress about "what Mom and Dad might be planning." The family already knew, and they supported it.

One of the biggest misconceptions about charitable giving is that it's only for the wealthy. The truth is far different. Including bequests, ordinary citizens gave 73% of all charitable gifts in 2022. This isn't about mansions and private jets—it's about regular people making choices about their legacy.

Small Amounts, Big Impact: You don't need to donate millions to make a difference. A $5,000 bequest to a local food bank, a donated vehicle to a job training program, or even a collection of books to a library can have a tremendous impact.

Percentage-Based Giving: Instead of fixed amounts, consider percentage-based bequests. Leaving 5% or 10% of your estate to charity means your gift grows with your assets and doesn't require constant updating of your will.

Contingent Gifts: You can structure charitable gifts to only happen if your family doesn't need the assets. For example, "If both my children predecease me, then 50% of my remaining estate goes to [charity]."

Under current federal law, an estate of more than $13.99 million will owe federal tax. In general, there is an unlimited deduction of charitable bequests against the value of an estate, making it a powerful tool for reducing estate tax.

But even if your estate isn't subject to federal estate taxes, charitable giving can provide benefits:

Income Tax Benefits During Lifetime: If you donate appreciated assets during your lifetime, you can often deduct the full fair market value while avoiding capital gains taxes.

State Estate Tax Benefits: Many states have lower estate tax thresholds than federal, so charitable bequests can provide state tax benefits even for moderate estates.

IRA and Retirement Account Benefits: You can donate up to $100,000 annually to charities if you're 70.5 and above through direct deductions from your IRA account. The arrangement is known as qualified charitable distributions (QCD) and provides several benefits.

Let's address the elephant in the room. Many people avoid discussing charitable giving in their estate plans because they're worried about family reactions. They think their children might see it as "stealing their inheritance."

The reality is more nuanced. Legacy donors are among the most connected and supportive there are. Families who discuss these decisions openly often find that children respect and support their parents' charitable intentions—especially when they understand the reasoning.

Consider these conversation starters:

The goal isn't to get permission—it's your money and your choice. The goal is to prevent surprise and provide context for your decisions.

Margaret was a successful real estate agent who had quietly amassed a considerable art collection over her 40-year career. She was particularly proud of several pieces by local artists that had appreciated significantly in value. In her will, she left her entire $200,000 art collection to the local art museum, thinking it would be a wonderful way to support the arts in her community.

Margaret's only child, David, knew his mother collected art but had no idea of its value or her intentions. He'd been counting on selling the collection to help fund his own children's college education. When Margaret passed away and David learned about the donation, he was furious.

"She knew we were struggling with college costs," David told his wife. "How could she give away $200,000 when her own grandchildren need help with education?"

David's anger turned into a legal challenge. He claimed his mother had been unduly influenced by the museum (she had served on their board) and that she lacked the mental capacity to make such a large charitable gift. The museum, not wanting the negative publicity, eventually agreed to sell half the collection and give David the proceeds.

The result? David got some money but lost his relationship with the museum where his mother had volunteered for years. The museum lost half the intended donation and spent thousands on legal fees. The family was torn apart by resentment and misunderstanding.

Margaret's intentions were good, but her silence created chaos that could have been avoided with one honest conversation.

The world of charitable giving extends far beyond cash and stocks. Here are some creative options that might apply to your situation:

Professional Services: Attorneys, accountants, doctors, and other professionals can donate their services to nonprofits and often deduct the fair market value.

Intellectual Property: Own a patent, copyright, or trademark? These can be donated and may provide ongoing tax benefits as royalties flow to the charity.

Life Insurance: Name a charity as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy. It's a simple way to create a large gift with small annual premium payments.

Business Interests: Own a family business? Donating a percentage to charity can provide tax benefits and potentially help with succession planning.

Real Estate with Retained Rights: You can donate your home to a charity, but retain the right to live in it for the rest of your life.

Looking for Creative Donation Ideas? Checkout the Donation Ideas Checklist below.

If you decide to include charitable giving in your estate plan, proper documentation is crucial. Most parents prefer their children to get along and avoid conflicts with each other, especially when it comes to their final wishes. Discussing the issues with your children beforehand can lead to a transparent conversation regarding your intentions, which will be useful for them.

Work with Professionals: Estate planning attorneys can help structure charitable gifts to maximize benefits and minimize conflicts.

Be Specific: Vague charitable instructions create problems. Instead of "some money to charity," specify "10% of my residual estate to the American Red Cross."

Keep Records: Document your reasoning for charitable gifts. A letter explaining your intentions, while not legally binding, can provide valuable context for your family.

Regular Updates: Review your charitable giving plans on a regular basis. Organizations change, your financial situation evolves, and your family circumstances shift.

Before making any decisions about charitable giving in your estate plan, consider these questions:

Many donors discuss their estate plans with their families first. Philanthropy is often a family affair; look for ways to involve the entire family in a donor's gift.

When families discuss charitable giving openly, positive things happen:

Charitable giving through your estate plan isn't about grand gestures or enormous wealth. It's about thoughtful decisions that reflect your values and benefit causes you care about. Whether it's that classic car, a collection that's outlived its usefulness to your family, or a percentage of your financial assets, you have options.

The key is breaking the silence. Your family can't support what they don't understand, and they can't prepare for what they don't expect. Start the conversation. Ask the questions. Share your thinking.

Remember, this isn't about getting permission—it's about providing context, reducing surprises, and ensuring your legacy unfolds the way you intend.

Your charitable giving legacy is too important to leave to chance. Start the conversation today.

The PARDON the QUESTION Deck of Cards can help with these conversations. Instead of asking your parents, family, or children these questions, gift them a deck of cards. Let them investigate at their leisure. The questions are thought-provoking and guaranteed you’ll get the call saying, “I think we have a few things to discuss.” Order your deck(s) at the below link:

The "Pardon the Question" newsletter is designed to help families begin important conversations about financial, medical, spiritual, and legacy planning. Each issue corresponds to a card in our conversation-starter deck, providing you with the information and confidence to discuss topics that matter most.

Next Issue: "Have you discussed your end-of-life medical preferences with your family and healthcare providers?"